Ruminations (I)

 I am confused.

There are numerous books which tell us how to get what we want – visualise, meditate or just say ‘f**k it’ (the actual title of a very well written book!). And it all sounds eminently doable … just follow the recipe.

The other advice/school of thought is that we each have a blueprint for our lives and that everything, give or take a few good or bad choices, is predetermined.

[Please note that there is no disrespect meant to any of the authors in the paraphrasing.]

Combining these two concepts rather gracefully for me is the serenity prayer (by Reinhold Niebuhr). It has adorned many inspirational cards and is used as part of the 12 step program of AA:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

I was perfectly happy with this and nodded sagely whenever the prayer entered my orbit, because all of it was just so … true.

That is until recently, when I finally realised that there is a sting in the tail. And perhaps I am the only person who didn’t grasp this until now, but here is the thing.

I’ve always been a doer and therefore the fact that one chooses to take action or stand down, depending on the particular circumstances, was always perfectly acceptable. And, obviously the wisdom to know the difference. So logical. Actually doable.

Or not?! 

The crafty bit is that all of these are silent on the issue of timing if not dictated by actual happenings. So when do we have the courage to initiate that big change or follow the dream? Conversely, when is the right time to not chase the dream and accept that something may never happen? Serenely accept that the answer may actually be “no”.

Not so elementary, my dear Watson.